all of the above.

is it normal to get violent waves of nostalgia... so powerful that i'd swear i just time traveled to the future for a second, because i'm convinced that i'm still 18, 19, 20, 21?

browsing through old pictures is always the cause of this ignited sadness. i've gone through so many unforgettable, irreplaceable, magical experiences and changes that it's hard to imagine what's next, and how on earth it will compare. i think growing up is harder for me to accept than it is for most people.

on a lighter and more optimistic note: i am engaged. trust me, i'm more shocked than you are. i'm the girl who made fun of that 23 year old girl with the engagement ring and pending wedding plans. i'm the girl who mocked the mere concept of marriage, let alone a wedding to celebrate such a monstrosity. well, call me a hypocrite. a big one. because i'm going to have a badass beach wedding, and yes, i'm giddy as all hell.

the ring:

i know, i know. it's a fox. it's our thing. do you have any idea how many old (and not old) ladies have so blatantly judged the shit out of me after i show them this little guy on my ring finger? conversations have gone as follows:

"i hear you're engaged! let me see the ring!"

"well, it's not traditional or anything, but it's very me..."

"oh.... um... so you're not going to get diamonds added to it or anything?"

i've never cared how people may or may not feel about what i do or do not put on my body. i love that he chose something so ridiculously personalized and non-traditional that absolutely nobody gets it but us. isn't that the way love should be expressed? in any case, the narrow-minded women can suck it.

also, i've been crafting. a lot. i'm considering starting an etsy and attempting to sell my handmade (crap) treasures. we'll see.